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  • Writer's pictureJaqi Furback

Best Face Scenario


We all have that one ex. That ex of all exes. The one that you wish you'd never have to see again, but thanks to social media, you'll never forget because every 3 months facebook will decide you have enough mutual friends that you should probably be friends with this new guy. This guy that you lived with for nearly 3 years.

The funny thing is that the longer I'm out of this relationship, the more he looks like a stereotypical wifebeater.

"fuck you, facebook! get him out of my sight!"

"oh, what are you, some bitter ex?" facebook will say.

"if by bitter, you mean so emotionally manipulated and physically threatened by this person that I almost killed myself and left him what little I had in your bank account because it was the only way to help make his life easier -- then CALL ME BITTER. ANGOSTURA BITTER." (Mostly there to balance anything sweet, and also 40% alcohol.)

But that's the thing about emotional manipulators. The good ones are REALLY. FUCKING. GOOD. And they will destroy you before you know what is happening. And they'll have everyone else convinced that it's YOUR fault.

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